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September 3 , 2010.

Greetings workers of the world! As you know, I just re-send the best joke(s) I get from the emails I gather from people all over the world. Then I add my own original drawings (which I create on the spot as I put this email together) to give it a personal touch. Most of the time I create this a few hours before Thursday midnight so if you catch a few typos, please forgive my tired mind and fingers. If this is your first time to receive this, welcome to a new and (hopefully) entertaining addiction.

I was hoping to make this a quick edition but I got carried away. Besides, I thought with the long weekend coming up (here in the USA) that many of you guys are just pretending to be working.

The weather suddenly turned from heat to chilly last Saturday. I hope it isn't too cold where I'm going this weekend -- at the Sequoias. Happy Labor Day people!

Thanks to today's winners: Tom of Pasadena, Dulce of Vancouver, Mike of NYC and Judie of Simpsonville.

From Tom of Pasadena
TGIF Wisdom:

Words of Wisdom

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.

Be sure to send me your favorite jokes. The newer the better. If it makes me laugh it could be among the TGIF Jokes of the week. Why not give your friends the gift of Funny Fridays? Subscribe them to Raoul's TGIF Jokes.

TGIF people!

Life on the Lopside

sent by Tom of Pasadena, CA

My five-year-old nephew wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game.
"You have to count my strokes," my brother told him.

"How much is six plus nine plus eight?"
"Five," answered the nephew.
"Okay," my brother said, "let's go!"

YMCA Donation
sent by Dulce of Vancouver, B.C.

The YMCA realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.

So a YMCA volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the YMCA?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the YMCA rep mumbles, "Uh ... no, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer,"did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?"

The stricken YMCA rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another who has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated YMCA rep, completely beaten,says, "I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

And the lawyer says, "So . . . if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?"

Videos of the week:

Senior Stand Up Comedy
Sent by Mike of New York City

senior stand up comedian

When a senior citizen does stand up comedy, it has to be good.

Hurrah for seniors!

Korean Guitarist

Sent by Judie of Simpsonville, South Carolina
South Korean Guitarist

I've been getting a lot of videos of kids doing amazing things. I wish I had enough space to list them in my column but I have to settle for the one I thought was the most professional.

This little tyke plays a guitar that's bigger than her.


Birth of the Blues
Sent by Mike of New York City

Birth of the Blues

If you like the Rat Pack, here's a vintage performance that brought the house down.

Those were the days, huh? The culture of drinking martinis and non-stop-smoking. Seems so long ago.

World Clock
Sent by Mike of New York

World Clock

If you're a trivia nut, you should look at this. Not only does it give you the time but it also gives you some interesting global statistics.


From Christof of Nassau, Bahamas - I was pleased to see last week’s TGIF was back to its full length. Persons in my office had become very disenchanted with the TGIF when you had started to reduce its length. We noted that every edition had a joke or video that one of us didn’t care for or catch on to. Ones I don’t think are funny, I ignore. Funny ones are forwarded. We all appreciate the work, time and effort you put into TGIF at no financial cost to us. I am amazed of how many people complain about this and that. We are all adults here! If you don’t like a joke then move on! Thank you and keep up the good work.

From Pete of Virginia after his winning joke entry: Wow, finally in the winner's circle! Thanks!

From Sam of Arcadia, CA - I think what you do is very, very impressive, I think you should let us know just how many wonderful people you reach and to the many places around the world.                 (Let's just say it's a lot --- Raoul)

From Laura of Pasadena, CA - Re: the Universal Laws
Raoul! Love the Laws. At my previous job, we recognized some other laws:

  • Law of Two: If your phone has not rung for more than 3 hours, the next time it rings, someone will come into your office to talk at the exact same moment. If you have more than one line, two lines will ring at the same time.
  • Law of Copier Hysteria: The chances of the copier breaking down increase with the urgency of getting the project completed.
  • Law of Equipment Solidarity: One piece of equipment breaking down increases the likelihood of neighboring equipment malfunctioning. Don't let copiers, computers or fax machines know the importance of your project! They can communicate hysteria to each other.

At my new job:

  • Law of the Boss: The boss will not arrive at the office until you are down the hall in the bathroom.
  • Law of Need: If you move an item to an inaccessible location, it will be needed the next day. If a piece of paper is needed, it will be hidden under another object.
  • Law of Emergencies: When you finally figure out the solution to a nagging problem, the fire alarm will go off and drive all ideas out of your head.

Not work-related:

  • Re-run Law: If you have only seen one episode of any television program, that same episode will run when you tune in during re-run season.
  • Law of TGIF: TGIF will make you laugh, regardless of which day of the week you read it. Thanks, Raoul!

I was just going to write down the first two, but then I remembered the others. Amazing what sitting down at a keyboard can produce.

Forgot to tell you: your astronaut is adorable (usually your drawings are not "cute"). But how is he (she?) eating a sandwich with a helmet on? Or is his face just big and round?

The funniest drawing is the large-size person trying to get into their movie seat. From the funniest angle.

Re: Last Week's video of Future Shock (Did You Know?)
From John of La Canada, CA - Please don’t take offense at any of the following. I just can’t resist picking apart every part of the video:

  • “One in a million”
    It’s just a phrase. Everybody is unique in some way. True, even the best have competition when there are 1.3B people in China, but everybody who has been to grad school learned that a long time ago...
  • 25% of India’s population with the highest IQ is more than the population of USA
    Sure, India has about 4 times as many people as USA does. So? The phrasing suggests that the number of smart people in India is more than the total US population, but that’s nonsense. Hardly anybody there is educated. IQ is a worthless measurement. Even if you don’t agree that IQ is worthless, what’s the mean IQ in USA vs the mean IQ in India? What about the standard deviation? So their “translation” is B.S.
  • I agree that the job market is evolving rapidly, but they don’t provide any details. What jobs are so incredibly hot? Are they just fads?
  • I agree that many people change jobs rapidly. Many by choice, however,
    so this proves nothing.
  • Why are they quoting MySpace numbers? What year are they living in?
    MySpace is dead. I want to see Facebook numbers. And sure, the numbers are huge. There are 6B people on the planet. Duh.
  • #1 Internet Penetration is Bermuda. Of course it’s easy for tiny countries to get high numbers. There are so few people and so little area to cover! Completely useless statistic.
  • 31B searches on Google. Sure, but check the top searches: celebrities and other trivia. Whom did we ask B.G.? The tabloid press, of course. (Oh, and don’t forget all the Google searches for “facebook login”, etc by people who haven’t discovered the address bar at the top of their web browser!) Google makes it easy to search, so we search more, especially when we have internet access on the bus or train or wherever we’re bored. People need to read more. I still remember going to the library to read encylopedias for school papers :)
  • More text messages than people on the planet. Sure, and at least half of them are “LOL” 4 years to get a market audience of 50M for the Internet? Nonsense. It took decades before anybody even noticed ARPANET.
  • Internet devices in 2008: most of them cell phones. Duh.
    5x as many words now as in Shakespeare’s day? Maybe, but he wrote better than anybody does today! Like so why like can’t we like ya know write English these days, eh? Hardly anybody has a large vocabulary. They’re too busy texting, and we know what that looks like: LOL, BFF, POTS, BFF, etc
  • Re: New York Times — Guess why I stopped listening to or reading news
    years ago? It’s not information. It’s mostly garbage. True, technical information keeps growing, but growing doesn’t mean it’s all obsolete, so I don’t believe the claim that “what they learned is obsolete before they graduate.”
  • Big fiber optic cable — big deal... Supercomputer by 2013 will exceed the computational capabilities of the human brain: until it starts to think on its own, it’s not a big deal. You can see how sensationalist they are by what they emphasized: “capabilities of the human brain” instead of “computational capabilities of the human brain”. One extra word makes a big difference!
  • Nobody knows if Moore’s law will continue until 2049. Any predictions
    that far in the future are gibberish. Sure, babies are born all the time. They forgot to mention how many people died during the same interval. They end with “So what does it all mean?”, but they don’t answer the question. Why? Because they had no idea. They’re just spewing sensationalism


Give us a sense of humor, Lord. Give us the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life. And pass it on to other folk

submitted by Sylvia of Virginia

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