Raoul's TGIF Joke of the Week

August 4 , 2006

Greetings workers of the world! As you know, I just re-send the best joke(s) I get from the emails I gather for that one week. If this is your first time to receive this, welcome to a new and (hopefully) entertaining addiction!

Debbie of Temple City, CA is today's winner with her true life idiotic stories. Monica of Vancouver comes up with this week's one-liner. Ding of Vancouver and Susan of Riverside start off our videos with a case of mistaken identity. Manny of Virginia submits a great performance by a puppet. Janet of South Pasadena sends a dance on treadmills. Wally of RIverside shares a video of quick-change artists. Levi of Chicago ends our list with a comparison of 2 Ferraris.

Warning: PG13

TGIF people!

Address all suggestions and questions to: .

They Walk Among Us
sent by Debbie of Temple City

IDIOT IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here. I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS.

* * * *

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef?
Yep...From Kansas City!

* * * *

IDIOT AT THE AIRPORT

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?

To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

* * * *

IDIOT IN THE STREET

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

* * * *

IDIOT IN THE OFFICE

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.

She was leaving the company due to "downsizing."

Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."

Not another word was spoken.

We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

* * * *

IDIOT AND ELECTRICITY

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.

* * * *

IDIOT MECHANIC

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

"Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"

His reply, "I know - I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

* * * *

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE!

TGIF Videos of the week
I'm Her Daddy
sent by Ding of Vancouver and Susan of Riverside, CA

This video speaks for itself. Don't you hate when this happens?
(Click on the picture)

Panhandler
sent by Manny of Virginia who passes the credit to his friend Pandu.

It's an ordinary puppet which magically comes to life in the hands of a master street puppeteer. Someone in Hollywood should put him to work.
(Click on the picture)

Treadmill Choreography
sent by Janet of South Pasadena and her cousin Philip of La Canada, CA.

This isn't funny but it's highly creative. What a concept! Be patient because it may take a while to load. I suspect the server seems to be overloaded during peak hours.
(Click on the picture)

Quick Change
sent by Wally of RIverside

Changing in front of your audience will never be the same.
(Click on the picture)

Two Race Cars
sent by Levi of Wheaton, Chicago

Western vs. Eastern technology in Powerpoint.
(Click on the picture)

Feedback from Last Week's Diagnosis Edition

From Samita: THANX RAOUL THOSE JOKES ARE GREAT.

From Belen: This is an old one, but I still fall off my chair reading it.
Do you know that your TGIF is a blessing to me, I enjoy reading them after a long, hard work week!

From Doug: Thanks for your Friday laughs. I look forward to your mail each week.

Re: How to write the Blues joke which was sent in by Ed of Burbank:

From Terry: Hey, Hangnail Raspberry Pascual,
Now I got the blues!

I woke up this mornin'
In my beige SUV
Had a good woman Heather
Make a fool out of me
I was out on the golf course
Drinkin' fine chardonnay
She came straight from the mall
Spent my 401K
Now I'm outside Seattle
And my e-mail shut down
Yeah I woke up this mornin'
On my way out of town
---blues by Lame Canteloupe Nixon

(In case you are wondering, Terry was inspired to write this poem using the instructions that Ed submitted last week, Isn't that so cool?) --- Raoul

TGIF One Liner
sent by Monica of Vancouver, WA

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

Raoul-isms

What a week! I had so much to do ---- meetings, projects, more meetings, more projects, etc. I'm so looking forward to our East coast trip in 2 weeks. This edition of TGIF Joke is still being written and it's past 1:00 a.m. I hope I keep my eyes open.

* * * *

I must apologize for the double emails last week. Just as I was about to launch my TGIF joke, the server decided to crash. Friday morning I had to resend the email which seemed to be stuck in tech limbo. This action ultimately resulted in sending the same TGIF Joke twice.

* * * *

If you send me a joke, please put "TGIF" in the Subject line so I'll know that it isn't spam. I suspect that some emails get listed as SPAM .... especially when it comes from a subscriber who is sending me stuff for the first time.

Gotta go! TGIF people!

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